A collection of increasingly organized and sporadic rantings from everybody's second-favorite jelly.

 
I have no clue why I suddenly decided to post on this blog that nobody assuredly reads -- probably some twisted variant of "crazy-idea-insomnia" (that being a technical term, of course).

So -- big news.

1.) I was given a full-ride scholarship to attend the Mississippi College School of Law, in Jackson, Mississippi so long as I stay in the top 20% of the class (which I imagine will be more difficult than I imagine -- school life for me up until now has been admittedly easy).

2.) Not only that, but last summer (2007) I attended a congregation of nerds dubbed "Thespival" in Jackson, Mississippi; players of mafia (the party game, not the computer game) gathered from all over the states (and New Zealand, England, and China) to basically play board games for a week.

It was the best week of my life. Hands down. I was constantly smiling, constantly happy. I am trying to make it a point in my life from now on to attend such gatherings every time I can (although I cannot go the one being hosted in New York this year due to lack of cash).

3.) As luck would have it, I will be living with the couple who ran Thespival for my first year of law school!

Of course, it's hard to say exactly how 'lucky' it is; it will certainly be a weight off my shoulders financially (don't get me wrong -- I'm going to pay rent, but I daresay it will be cheaper than if I were to rent an apartment or get university housing). However (and this is one of the most tempting things) they are both fairly ardent gamers! They have piles and piles of boardgames, they playtest boardgames, they keep a Jackson gaming group afloat, they host Dungeon and Dragon games at their home, and the list probably goes on and on.

The problem with this: I love games, and I love procrastinating (it's actually a love-hate relationship). Juggling law school with this temptation will not be an easy task. I'm deciding if I need to take any mental steps to make sure I can (a) be successful in law school, and (b) have fun doing it.

After all, I have decided: what the hell is the point of life if you don't get a little bit of fun? Even when I fantasize about being a Judge making hard decisions and staying up late reading law books (and magically understanding everything and the implications of everything, which I know will not ever happen), I still see my leaving the room by taking off my robes and then playing a nice game of Scrabble or some such thing (I bet there are some judges who play a mean game of Scrabble that I could find).

~~~~~

As usual, with every bit of good news there also comes a slew of bad news.

1.) The most important bit of bad news I will not actually put here, because I can't bring myself to type it. :P Oh, cruel fate!

But I might as well allude to it. Essentially, it comes down to me being 'too late', which is fast becoming a rather bothersome theme in my life (albeit a fitting one, given my penchant for procrastination). I have even gone through the implications in my mind a good number of times, and I inevitably conclude that as a result I absolutely, positively MUST be more outgoing and MUST be more willing to make mistakes.

[Sidenote: I would actually venture to say my hatred of making mistakes (or not being good enough for the standards I make) is probably one of the most influential negative stigmas I have placed on myself and consequently have such a difficult time ousting.]

2.) I really do have to wonder what it is I am planning to do with my life, if in fact I have some subconscious 'plan' somewhere. I've had visions of judgehood on my mind for years, but I honestly doubt that will ever occur (the problem being you have to either be elected or appointed; I'm not the type to "know people" to get appointed, nor am I the type who would want to run a campaign for election). So why did I continue with Philosophy Pre-law? Why apply to Law School?

I am being inauthentic -- I am not precisely sure what I want, but I am pushing myself in a certain direction solely because that's the direction I've been pushing myself towards for so long. Sure, I can rationalize my decisions, but that really isn't the same as justifying them.

I have been trying to 'fit the mold' others have placed on me for ages. I suppose I've always known that I do so, but acknowledging it was still difficult. I've always been considered the 'good kid', the 'nice guy', the 'smart kid'... so what happens? I try to do good, I try to be nice, and I try to seem smart (even though I really don't think I'm as much of a crackerjack smart-cookie as people like to think of me as being).

Because I seemed to get most attention from science and math teachers, I originally wanted to go into science and math (although I have always had an underlying yearn for writing, I just can never bring myself to approve of anything I write). This continued on up until about junior year in high school. I heard-tell of people I greatly respected in Knowledge having an absolute blast in our Mock Trial team: and bam, I was hooked. I had to be on the team, and I had to be good.

After a semester of being deprived of Mock Trial (due to our school's A/B/C/D school system, which quartered students into sections and teachers they could take) I managed to get into the class. I made a fool of myself in the end, but for some reason people continued to pander to me and tell me how great I was.

And so began the thoughts of being a judge. Because I was just so clearly thoughtful (when I sat around thinking about nothing but appearing as though I were deep in thought), so clearly fair (a derivation of my 'nice guy' / 'smart guy'), and so clearly clever (derivation of 'smart guy').

So I go to college, try to go into Political Science -- but screw up because I just cannot hold other countries' politics in my head. While being on the Mock Trial team at WSU, I become friends with a philosophy major, and presto! I suddenly become a Philosophy Pre-Law Major.

Don't get me wrong -- philosophy can be interesting. But much of the time I find myself reading it and then wondering why (oh why!?) did I ever get into it.

And now I find myself buying philosophy books solely because I am philosophy major, and as such, I need to be able to represent myself as a philosophy major. What kind of philosophy major has not read the major philosophical works? (Sign points to me above my head).

I am basically living my life trying to fill in the roles that have been thrust upon me which in turn cause me to thrust myself into other roles which I thereby try to fill. That is practically the definition of being inauthentic.

And I don't know what to do about it, or if I should do anything about it.
posted by The Doubting Salmon at 3:02 AM

 
Test.
posted by The Doubting Salmon at 11:36 PM

 
This will probably be considered an emo rant. I would suggest not reading it, if anybody stumbles across it.

I am always second place.

In everything I have ever done, I can never manage to be "the best". I can never manage to "win". I can never manage to "finish the job".

If I were assigned a part in the play of life, I would be one of the following:

A.) The misunderstood "antagonist" who is always somehow beaten by the protagonist
B.) The sidekick of the protagonist who always manages to be forgotten
C.) The person backstage who holds up the proverbial tree in the forest

Proof:

1.) I was definitely given the shorter end of the stick so far as looks go. It is no secret that I am not handsome in any sense of the word. I have had rather bad acne for many years (though I admit it is not nearly as bad as it used to be). I am not particularly toned or in-shape. My back is slightly hunched because my backpack weighed so much in middle school and I read books more than I talked to people. I cannot ever remember I time where I have not needed corrective lenses (to emphasize this point, I cannot read these words as soon as I doff my glasses). My hair is greasy in general.

2.) I have tried over the years to play the piano. I have been told time and again that my fingers are not condusive to playing the piano, and this much is true: I cannot gracefully do glissandos, staccato, etc. I am considered "good" by many who hear me play, but I am clearly not "excellent" or anything of the sort. I am just better than the average person.

3.) I used to play chess religiously. I become reknowned in my middle school and reknowned in my high school. Single-handedly, I pushed my school into advancing to State Competitions. But as soon as I was thrust into competitions with people from other schools, I was suddenly... once again... simply better than the average person. I can bring interesting gameplay to the table, and I can bring interesting gambits into tournaments, but I am simply not skilled enough to take complete control over the game.

4.) I participated in Knowledge Bowl while I was High School, and by the time I was a Senior, I became president. We advanced to the State Finals for the first time under my lead. We lost horribly, even though we consisted of the best and brightest from my High School. We were only slightly better than the average team.

5.) I have also played Scrabble for the past two years. I quickly became exceptionally good: scoring anything less than 400 points in a game is considered either "rusty" or "bad play" for me. I am known throughout the Philosophy Department as being "awesome" at Scrabble. But then I sign up for the Internet Scrabble Club on-line, and I am suddenly only better than the average player (for those interested, my rating is consistently between 1400-1500). Another game that I will never be able to master. I can look at flash-cards I studied just last week, and not remember half of the anagrams. My mind simply does not remember things very well, as much as I would like it to.

6.) I was extraordinarily proficient in the maths and sciences at my High School: I was offered a Bausch and Laumb Scholarship to Rochester New York simply because I had taken the most science classes as anybody in my High School had ever done; I was offered this in my Junior year, even though this reward is supposed to be for Seniors.

To complement this, I have also participated in TechnoBowl (quiz bowl on sciences), Orca Bowl (quiz bowl on oceanography), and Science Olympiad (competition focusing on the sciences).

Despite the fact that I am considered top notch in these fields, as soon as I am paired against people from other schools, I am... again... simply better than the average person. We always managed to put in a fair showing over the three or four years I was involved in these, but we could never stand toe-to-toe with the best.

7.) In my first semester of freshman year in High School, I received a 3.67 GPA. For the next seven semesters, I got straight 4.0's, while taking every possible AP Class and the most difficult courses our school could provide. I took classes on the side in addition to the regular course-load (such as Jazz Band).

I suppose you know where this is going.

I was Salutatorian. Second best.

8.) I am in Mock Trial at College, and I am, in fact, the President this year. Despite the fact that our team advanced to Nationals last year, we could not, as expected, hold our own once there. We went down in flames, losing judge after judge.

9.) Getting tired, so I'll cut to the chase. I have mentioned earlier my penchant for playing an on-line game called mafia. I have found the experience of playing this game as eerily reflective of my life.

I am considered a very good player. But my problem is, no matter what I do, no matter what I say, no matter how hard I play or how accurate I am, I consistently find ways to lose. I have lost countless games (it is not irregular for me to put anywhere from 5-8 months of effort and anguish into a single game) on things completely beyond my control, while I have to consistently watch others win games based on stupidity or chance.

Not really in the mood for elaborating, but the moral is:

~ I am tired of losing. But I don't think I can do anything about it.

My life is following a consistent pattern which goes exactly like this:

A.) Find something interesting
B.) Study and become proficient
C.) Make marked advances
D.) Come into contact with others who are invariably better
E.) Fail
posted by The Doubting Salmon at 6:37 PM

 
Wow, it has been over one year since I last posted here. Amazing. The last time I've even looked at this thing was when I decided I wanted to tell somebody the story about the time I went to the fair with the plum-throwing delinquents. Hm.

So, what's changed over the past year? Lots of things. I will not even bother trying to not be frank.

1.) My hair was cut (and donated to Locks of Love), and it is now regrowing. Currently past my shoulders.

2.) I seem to stay consistently of the same weight and height (5'11" and somewhere around 225 pounds, though I haven't weighed myself in a few months). Which is rather depressing. I am trying to get myself in a regular exercise routine, but it is difficult when there is constant snow and ice outside.

3.) I have also noticed that I have become much more organized. I didn't even think to mention this until I noticed that I have already begun writing this entry in numbers. Now my rantings are organized! Huzzuh!

4.) Mafia Scum has become a very large part of my life. I don't know how it happened, but I am now considered one of the better players on that site, even though the games themselves leave me literally (I mean LITERALLY) pulling my hair. I probably spend a few hours on it each day. I try to tell myself that it is good preparation for areas like law and philosophy, but I'm not quite sure if that's true. If that were really my purpose, I could just be using that time to read philosophical articles and books, and law journals.

5.) The more I think about life, the more it truly depresses me. I have met quite a few awesome people on the internet in my time, and it really hurts to realize that I will probably never meet any of them. Ever. And since (I doubt this is a surprise) I don't believe in God or second chances, this really hits my heart, and it hits hard. One life is simply not enough to live. What is like to be somebody different, who enjoys different things, who has a different physique/gender/sexuality/drive? Feeling as if answering those questions are not even feasible aches inside.

6.) I will probably have to give up on ever even entertaining thoughts of a girlfriend or marriage; I have done some introspection and noticed that I am simply not the type of person who is out-going enough to walk down these sorts of paths. Even if I ever did feel the urge, I will probably find a way to talk myself out of it (such as "I will be too busy", "I might be moving soon so it will be a waste", "No girl would want me anyways", etc.) I'm not exactly SAD about this (over the course of life, the problem has been accepting it), though it does make me wonder if I have some sort of stupid psychological disorder or something. No joke. And that's besides what I figure to be some form of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

7.) For those who didn't know, I have (had?) been considering going into the legal profession, seeing as I enjoy dissecting arguments and presenting my own to hold my positions.

-> A.) I am the President of the Mock Trial Club at my university; last year we advanced to Nationals as a superb team who had great chemistry. I doubt we will have a repeat for this year, I have just not been getting the same vibe. This position is very busy: I am consantly receiving phone calls, meeting with mockers, writing up directs/crosses/opening statements, giving advice, helping with objections, memorizing my witness, collecting money for hotels (and arranging those stays), keeping teams organized and in sync, playing the "open ear" to anybody and everybody, keeping e-mails going every week to make sure things keep on a tight schedule...

-> B.) I have done a few practice LSAT's, but not under timed conditions. My scores have been: 161, 166, 166, 166, 171. The average person scores mid-150's, and if I can keep with those scores under timed conditions, I will have excellent choices for law school. However:

-> C.) It has become increasingly difficult for me to picture myself as an attorney, or even being able to reach the position of a judge. I am mostly interested in Constitutional Law and Criminal Law, but I am not the type of person who enjoys drinking, or conversations with people I do not know (both things which are apparently crucial to the profession).

Judgeship is almost out of the question: judges are either elected or appointed. I am not the type of person who would ever want to be forced to go onto a platform and ask for votes. I am further not the type of person who wants to wheel-and-deal: I am very much against people who receive their positions because of who they know and not what they can do. If I keep going in this direction, I will either have to come to terms with myself and accept this, or change myself in order to get where I want to be.

-> D.) In accordance with the above, I have been wondering if I am pursuing the legal careers simply because I happen to have placed myself in a position where I have little other choices. I came to college and moved my majors to Political Science and Philosophy... after which I learned of the Pre-Law program, which I signed up for. I have been moving down that path ever since. Sometimes I stop myself and think about what I'm doing, and wondering if I could have done something different.

8.) I do not feel as if I am retaining any useful informatoin in my life. I can remember the stupidest of things (for example, I can name all the players in a mafia game I have played over a year ago, what their roles were, what my role was, and what night-choices I made, etc.), but I cannot remember things which I feel are necessary to remember (chemistry, law, philosophy, etc.) If I were stuck on an island, I would be completely useless. I don't know anything about mechanics, electricity, anything practical about applied chemistry... the most I could do was try to be "the voice of reason".

I could go on, but I should probably stop (although this is somewhat cathartic). I might post again soon.

Oh, guess I might as well go over my classes.

9.) Fall Semester of 2006
-> Advanced Logic: A
-> Principles of Chemistry: A-
-> Writing and Reasoning: A
-> Mock Trial: A
-> Civil Rights and Liberties: A- (though I still need to check on this one)

10.) Spring Semester of 2007
-> Seminar in Ethics
-> Constitutional Law
-> Criminology
-> "Introduction" to Math (disgusting, isn't it?)
-> Directed Study for Advanced Logic
-> Philosophy in Film
posted by The Doubting Salmon at 8:40 PM

 
"I am not yet dead!"

Anyhow, thought I may as well update this wretched, accursed blog. Quick run-down of last semester:

My English teacher and Psychology teacher were spawn of the devil. Philosophy of Law is probably the hardest class I have taken so far in college.

My classes and grades for Fall Semester were:
Psychology 105 A
Business Ethics A-
English A-
Public Speaking A
Philosophy of Law A

My classes for this Spring Semester are:
International Relations (Poli. Sci)
Biomedical Ethics
Mock Trial
Criminal Law
Social and Political Philosophy

I'm still planning on majoring in Philosophy Pre-Law, and pursuing a minor in Political Science. I've wanted to be a judge for a while now, but I'm starting to find the prospect of becoming an attorney first so disagreeable that I'm not sure I have chosen my correct field of study. I probably should have stuck with Science/Math, since those have always been my strong points, but I happen to like Law quite a bit too. So we'll see where that goes.

Mock Trial this year is a pain, as usual. Now I'm experienced and people ask me questions (which I answer), and now can fully realize just how stupid I was in High School Mock Trial. I was horrible, and I denounce that I was ever even in High School Mock Trial. The only good thing about it was that now I have learned from my mistakes, so I get to be the "motivator" for people who mess up in Mock Trial now.

My catch-all motivator is something like is: "I know exactly what you mean, So-and-So. Sometimes you just feel like you have to be right, and suggestions all sound so stupid and hurtful that you don't listen. Well, that very same thing happened when I was High School Mock Trial -- I didn't really listen to suggestions (although I acknowledged them), and it ended up coming back to whap me over the head. It's really for the better..." and blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda.

In fact, Mock Trial has sort of come to be a "good cop/bad cop" routine. Our "President" (who is only president because myself and another refused to be president) and Secretary are both the "Bad Cops". They scare people into doing what they want, in a way. Our President does it with threats, and our Secretary does it with sarcastic remarks and offhand comments. I always seem to be the "Good Cop", by softening the blow but ultimately agreeing with the "Bad Cops". It's an interesting chemistry to say the least.

And this precedent gave me a very good laugh when I told one Mocker "No, that direct was horrible. Did you even prepare one before hand?" and they responded that I sounded like our secretary. I responded that they should listen to others more often.

Needless to say, that specific person is no longer in Mock Trial. Hmm. *twiddles fingers*

What is more:

I HATE MAFIA AND WEREWOLVES. It is the most addictive game ever, I swear. Every hour, on the hour, I need to check all of the games I am in. It is seriously detracting from my studying and homework, hopefully this will wear off.

I wish I didn't have such an addictive personality sometimes. Yargh.

And article for the day: 30-Liter Cokes!
posted by The Doubting Salmon at 12:06 AM

 
Huzzuh!

Okay, I get this week off from school! So I'm back in Tacfor the remaineder of this week. And this computer is quite laggy, by the way. I can't see anything I've typed for about ten seconds. For the record, I can't do anything tomorrow (celebrating birthday with family/uncle that day, even though it's really on Tuesday_ or Thursday (being Turkey Day, of course).

Okay, this lag is seriously dumb. I refuse to type any longer.
posted by The Doubting Salmon at 1:59 PM

 
Ugh, what a long week. I'm so tired.

Anyhow, I took this quiz... was like a blast from the past:



Which Animaniacs Character are You?

Talkative, huh? Perhaps sing-ative would be more appropriate, actually. When people don't understand something, it usually drives you to cutting, sarcastic remarks. Your other extreme is bursting into song with almost no prompting, often to explain complex ideas. No one knows quite what you are, exactly. You have made many "special" friends, and there's baloney in your slacks.

Click here to see my Livejournal.

Hopefully that comes up right. Anyhow, I was pleased to see that I got Yakko. Even though I'm never sarcastic.

Oh, well... I'm just a menial robot. I get no satisfaction. I'm bored.

Interesting news: I attended a two-hour lecture today. I got to learn about Composition today, and some of the inherent problems that have arisen over the past few years. We argued about haeccity, exemplification facts, singletons (and doubletons), and whether or not it is logical to resolve the problems of Composition by assuming a "Null Individual" that is part of everything, but everything is not that something, and then what the implications are if you assume the Null Individual is God, as opposed to Chi, or some other all-encompassing force. It was rather hard to keep up. x_X

My brain hurts. Perhaps I should have gotten Dr. Scratch-N'-Sniff.

Oh, and read this article. I think my new thing will be posting an Onion article (or some other thing) I find especially funny. Also, note the arcane use of the word "defenestration" in this work, and marvel accordingly. Neck Belts!
posted by The Doubting Salmon at 1:30 AM

 
My goodness, it's been a while. Note that I am only blogging because Pam said I had better or else join FaceBook, which would of course, fly in the face of all I believe in what. What I believe in, I have yet to determine. =P

Anyhow, before I forget it like absolutely everything else, something kinda funny happened while I was walking back to my dorm (Orton) just now.

I was walking over the bridge that crosses the main road, and there was practically nobody around. A girl (who I don't believe I've ever seen before) was walking towards me from the other side of the bridge. She gave a slight smile before we were about to pass.

Naturally, I smiled back, but probably a little too much. So she widens her grin, and I widen mine, and after one more such widening we're just standing there grinning like idiots. (And no, we didn't madly start kissing each other or anything like some romance novel would have us do, bleah).

In any case, if somebody had happened by just then, and crossed their arms saying "and just what are you two smiling about?", we probably would've just flashed our grins at them. If we were to tell them out loud, though, it would be along the lines of "we're smiling because we're smiling".

Well, then we just kept on walking and that was that. I just walked away thinking, "huh", and put it out of mind, until now, whereby I figured I may as well mention it.



So! As I have mentioned I am back at WSU and have been for almost a complete, uh, heck, almost 4 weeks. That can't be right. *checks* Guess it is.

Classes and activities this semester are as follows:
M: Introduction to Psychology, 10:10-11:00
English 101, 1:10-2:00 (I know, I know! I just need this to take English 300 x_X)
Tu: Philosophy of Law, 10:35-11:50 (Quite possibly the hardest class ever)
Public Speaking, 12:00-1:15 (Quite possibly the scariest class ever)
Business Ethics, 2:50-3:05 (Quite possibly the mort boring class ever)
*Mock Trial, 5:15-7:30+
W: Classes same as M!
Th: Classes same as Tu!
*Philosophy Club/Ethics Bowl, 5:15-7:30+
F: Classes same as M/W!
S: *Scrabble Club, 9:00-11:30

Overall, Tuesdays and Thursdays are days where I run around in circles and pull out my hair, as you may be able to tell. Here's an interesting tidbit:

On Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays, I use a maximum of 3 books
On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I use a maximum of 9 books

Needless to say, I have only had time for recreational reading approximately... twice? Admittedly, I've been on DevArt in inordinate amount of time, but whenever I fancy sitting down for a read, I always end up with school texts in my hands. Gah!

Not much else to say; classes are going fine. I personally think my psych teacher has some sort of psychological problem, and my public speaking teacher always seems nervous, but apart from that, all my teachers are all right as well. Nobody I just 'know' I'll walk away from class shaking my fist at them. Well, except my psych teacher, but she seems to be improving.

Anyhow, I have to do some reading (not recreational, alas), but I'll probably be in Trivia at DevARt... again. I guess I'm a moderator there now, so I get some more control over the environment than most other players, and I'm essentially required to be there 10+ hours a week if I want to keep my position... why is the allure of power so difficult to deny!?

And so, as I ponder whether the allowance of rights necessarily brings a burden of duty, I can only wonder: why have only just watched the Shawshank Redemption!? It was so good!
posted by The Doubting Salmon at 2:48 PM

 
Hmm, my dad wanted me to blog today. Not that that has any bearing on whether or not I am, though it is disturbing he reads my biweekly rantings.

Anyhow... Tuesday I was called by Spherion (an equal-opportunity employer) around 9:30 told that I could take a job at Filtrona Extrusion company (which manufactures plastics) which had began at 8:00. I woke up after this call, as can be expected, and didnt get the message until about 5:30 that evening, since I don't take it upon myself to listen to our home messages.

I called them afterward, and they said the spot had been filled (naturally), but I could call the next day (which was yesterday) at 8:30 to see if a new opening came up. I did this, and was told that yes, there was a spot, so off to work I went.

We found the building, and I walked in. I asked for the director, and he sent me off to the other end of the warehouse, led by a woman (whom I shall name Juliet) who seemed to have a penchant for yelling. She told me to go to Line 31, and take over.

Once there, I met a very softspoken woman (or maybe, at least; I was wearing ear plugs and goggles, after all), who told me the gist of what I was to do; grab these 2 inch wide, 39 and half inch long pieces of fenching mesh, and fill them into a bag until it contained 82 pieces, and then put in a set of railings and tie off every bag with a metal twist (except for each tenth bag), then pack those bags into a crate until there were fifty, whereby it would be fork-lifted away, and I would begin on a new crate. Not too hard.

Except that the machine I was working on was crazy. As you might imagine, the machine spat out never-ending streams of plastic, which were then cut by a 'cutter'. If the plastic missed the cutter (which happened at my machine more than any other, since my machine had the thinnest material AND the fastest speed), then the plastic would simply snake out into the working area, and we would have to cut this stream with a giant pair of shears, and then feed it back into the machine. I would then take all the plastic cut off and make a trek to the end of the line and dump the plastic into a shredder.

Of course, I was a bit slow the yesterday, since I didn't have a system ready. The first time the machine screwed up, the person on the line next to me helped me and cut the plastic, so I took away the excess. Now, I mentioned that each bag had to have 82 strips of plastic. Upon returning, the machine's counter (since it counted to 82 and then reset) was on 42, and the bag was empty. I logically said, "every time the machine reaches forty-two, the bag I'm working on will be full". I worked like this for a while until 'Juliet' walked over.

"What are you doing?" she screams (though whether over the noise or just screaming, who can say).
"Filling bags!"
"Why is the counter not on 82?!"
"Because it screwed up, so I do it with 42!"
"You can't do it with 42!"
"It was on 42, so every time it reaches 42, there will be 82!"
"NO! No 42's!"

She then reset the machine at 0. Well, I think, somebody could've told me to reset the machine earlier. But, I was busy tying off the bag by now, and I missed how she reset it. In any case, I was under contract by Spherion not to run machinery without authorization, so I couldn't even if I wanted to.

Throughout the day, I kept having problems with the machine, and people would invariably come over to cut the plastic and feed it into the machine. Mind you, I also learned how to use these shears, and I could feed the machine myself, but people seemed to take it upon themselves to tell me to give them the shears, and then they would battle for possibly minutes with the machine, certainly getting things done no faster than I could.

Also, nobody informed me where anything was, other than the Men's Restroom (with I never used) and the Lunch Room. Every time I ran out of bags, or railings, or metal twists, I had to ask somebody else to get them, because every time I left my station myself, the plastic would decide to snake all over and poke people in their eyes. Fortunately, the man in the line by me told me how to reset the counter, though this occured when there was only about an hour's left of work. I had simply kept with my strategy, but would fill a few extra into the bags until I got the counter back to 0.

So, I came back today, and got down a system, filling about 154 bags with plastic mesh. I probably could've filled a few more if the machine didn't decide to screw up so often, but things such as this can't be helped. Of course, Juliet took on the formidable task of finding ways to yell at me while laughing with other employees. One I remember was when one of the plastic pieces had some water come out of it, so she started yelling something uncomprehendible (hello, I'm wearing earplugs over here), whereby she was forced to come over to me, take away all my plastic, and scream "If water comes out of them, throw 'em in the shredder!". I rolled my eyes (not where she could see, of course), and wished she would tell me these things before they had already happened.

Sometime after this, for the nth time, my plastic began going haywire again, while I was stacking some in one the bags. The guy in the line beside me came over to help, and he showed me how to shut off the cutter (but not the streams of plastic) so it made it easier to feed the machine. It cut about 30 seconds off of what it usually takes to alleviate the problem, so I thanked him kindly.

About ten minutes later, the plastic was flying every which way (AGAIN!), and of course, Juliet happened to walk by. I turned off the cutter, and got out the shears, and she began screaming at me. "DO NOT turn off my cutters!" she hollered. And yes, she said "her" cutters, though what that implies, I don't much care. She grabbed the shears, and began her struggle with the machine. Then the machine in of the guy in front of me started messing up, and people from several lines were forced to come help. Incidentally, the person in front of me and I were practically the only people who seemed to have defunct machines; we were also the only people who were hired just this week. Hmm.

Blah. Long story short, I came home today, and was called by Spherion (not even Filtrona Extrusion, the company I was actually working for) that "I did not meet production expectations". I fumed on the telephone with the Spherion lady, but of course she was of no help. So I set off into searching employment laws and such on the computer. My results were not satisfactory.

I learned that it's illegal to terminate an employee (such as me) for: refusing to break a law, in retaliation for filing a discrimination or safety claim, for taking leave under the Family and Medical Leave Act, without them folowing their own stated procedure or policy, OR for reasons not contained in the employment contract, if one exists.

Ah, but Filtrona Extrusion works under a fire 'at will' method (no pun intended). I then learned that in Washington, employees are presumed to be 'at will'. Also, that 'At-Will' employees may be termined for any reason, so long as it is not illegal. Generally, employees that work under an employment contract can only be terminated for reasons specified in the contract.

So, I now now that, even though Filtrona can fire at will, it must be legal; and that it's illegal to fire me for reasons not contained in the employment contract. Naturally, that was what I set out to find. Here was what I found:

"I understand and agree that nothing contained in this application, or conveyed during any interview is intended to create an employment contract. I further understand and agree that if I am hired, my employment will be "at will" and without fixed term, and I may be terminated at any time, with or without cause and without prior notice, at the option of either myself or the Company. No promises regarding employment have been made to me, and I understand that no such promise or guarantee is binding upon the Company unless made in writing."

And since I came to them through Spherion, there is no writing whatsoever. Very clever of them.

Then, I thought to myself, "Why would Spherion support a company that can fire you for absolutely no reason?". So began my next journey. I found that Spherion is just as slippery. In fact, simply by using their site, "I agree to indemnify, hold harmless and defend Spherion from any claims, damages, losses, liabilities and all costs and expenses of defense, including but not limited to attorneys’ fees, resulting directly or indirectly from Your use of this Site, unless such claims, damages, losses, liabilities, costs and expenses arise from and have directly and solely been caused by the gross negligence or intentionally wrongful acts of Spherion". So, because Spherion supports Filtrona Extrusion, if I file a claim against Filtrona for unlawful termination, it will be a claim against Spherion, and I must then DEFEND Spherion. What a nice little loop!

I was going to blog more, but I'm not in the mood for some reason.
posted by The Doubting Salmon at 7:07 PM

 
Phew, just read Amber's blog... you know it's important to somebody if they hold off for two weeks before mentioning it. Maybe her friend will do the right thing. :)

So, pretty much just came on here to mention that it looks like (dear God, no!) I will be getting a job. And it starts tonight. Or tomorrow, really... 12:00, graveyard shift. I guess a graveyard shift is better than no shift at all, and since it's at such an ungodly hour, the wages go up slightly, so I'll probably get about $9.00 an hour. Oh, and the job is cleaning, sorting, packaging, and spraying produce, or so it sounds like. This shouldn't be much different from some of the volunteer work I've done, and though it will repetitive, I'm sure, it can hardly be more repetitite than Mrs. Iverson.

Joking! *cringes at sight of tomatoes*

Oh, and apparantly somebody stopped by our house yesterday evening, asking for me. I originally thought it was Vince and Steven, but Vince says he didn't do any such thing. Steven is still a suspect, but who was the other person? Who!?
posted by The Doubting Salmon at 6:31 PM

 
Blech, I woke up way too late today...

Anyhow, much has happened. Well, not really. Got my driver's permit (not license) renewed; I won't be getting my license until next summer, and even that sounds iffy. How many 20-year old's (by next summer, anyhow) do you know that don't have licenses, but not because it was revoked? Not that I care much, I personally don't trust myself behind the wheel. I'm okay with some responsibilities, but I don't think many people realize how many lives they hold in their hand simply cruising down the highway. Maybe I just think too much. And these pop-ups coming at while I'm trying to type are getting on my nerves!!! (Righteously deletes message)

I have a bad feeling I won't be getting a job... I'm just not motivated, even though I know we need the money. I guess I feel like I shouldn't have to try and sell myself to people in suits; what I've already done should be more than enough. I feel like school has been a complete and utter waste; it's not impressive to tell someone I was salutatorian with a 3.96, that I'm going into law to be a judge, and that I was an integral part about 6 clubs and a sports team at high school... let alone my GPA at college and accomplishments there.

All they see is a fat, pimply, male, caucasian kid with a ponytail who probably has enough things going good for him. I don't like trying to sell myself to people, and I don't think that's what getting a job should be about. A resume (add the flourish) ought to be the only requirement, because with that I beat most people hands down.

And another thing; I hate how so many jobs want prior experience. Here's a question for you: how do I get any experience without getting a job? My dad keeps signing me up for companies, and then they'll send me e-mails saying that my resume was not complete, or if it miraculously is, I'll read the prerequisites for the job, and the first line is usually none other than "X years/months of prior experience". Why are people so stupid! I need a job, I'm willing to do what I have to do, but sometimes companies expect so much from you that I'm not sure they'll ever find anyone to hire in the first place. Did you know that over 3,000 jobs were left untaken this last year in Washington? I don't think it's for lack of applicants, for some reason.

Ranted there. I pretty much came on here to mention that I got to see Gen-Chan, Quiller, and Control this last weekend while visiting Slater's 'I Rock Too' shindig. It was dumb luck to run into Quiller, but I'll take it... we drove around and ate at Dairy Queen's, and talked. It was very fulfilling. We heard Charles was gonna be validictorian (congrats!), who is Crazy Jenny's brother. And now that I'm on the subject, Jenny wanted to have a get-together of some sort soon, we're going to have to round up the usual suspects. And I mean to have everyone there. I'll even make sure Ever Wet people can make it, as well as Parkland people. You know who I mean. *shakes fist*

Finished the Tenth book in the Wheel of Time Series... the next one comes out in October. I'll have to read the new Harvy Porter book when it comes out in July, just to make my sister wait an extra day (or possibly two, if I slack off or actually have a job by then). I need to shave. Don't know why I didn't earlier. Gonna have to wait 'til tomorrow.

Word of the day! I promised I'd find it, and here it is:

Purlieue: The webbing between your fingers.
posted by The Doubting Salmon at 7:12 PM

 
Another brilliant day in my life.

So, I wake up at 11:00 (an hour later than I wanted to), eat breakfast, shower, dress, read the comics, do the daily crossword... and my mom asks if we want to go for a ride. I say sure, so she hands me the keys (ack!) and off we go in our clunky white van.

Our list for the day is to stop by the library to drop off a book, then go to the post office where we will mail out some letters and a package, and then go to Costco to pick a few things we supposedly need. It seems harmless enough.

For starters, I back out the wrong way. I hate backing up. As usual, I say so, though in grunt and squinting of eye form. We make it without incident to the library, where my mom (who threw out her back last weekend, and has been home since) drops off the book. Check.

We head towards the post office. A tingling feeling runs up my spine (not really, but hey, I get to use my artistic license here). My mom says, "take a right here". I turn on the blinker and get ready to turn. "No, go past it, don't pull in the drive-through", she announces. Figuring that the street is not the same as the drive-through, I pull into the street, which is under construction.

"No, no! I said not the drive-through. The parking lot was down farther just a little bit. Well, go ahead and pull in the drive-through now, we're already here."

I sigh and roll my eyes, because I have to wait for cars to pass on the left and the flaggers to let us through. The lady smiles at me and gives the "what are you gonna do" gesture, as if she knows what just perspired in the car (though it was probably just the sympathy of knowing what it feels like to be inside the car), and she turns her sign from 'Stop' to 'Slow'.

I pull up and try to execute the sharp u-turn required for getting into the drive-through thing, but the van refuses to make the whole turn. Of course, the car behind me has already pulled up fairly close to my bumper, and Mom starts talking about how I'm going to have to back up, she hopes there's room behind us. I put the car in reverse, and position myself to where I can turn the wheel sharply to the left in order to enter.

"Okay, we can go in now," my mom begins to say... so I press on the gas a little harder to make things quicker, since there are cars waiting for me now; except I hadn't turned the car from reverse to drive. So I start going backwards. I panic, and press the gas a little harder (as if that's going to help, very smooth) and I crash into the car behind us. My mom starts panicking, and the car behind us just blows her horn like there's no tomorrow, and the flag lady turns around and looks quizzically, while the cars pile up behind us so nobody can move anywhere except me.

I finally realize, why I'm in reverse!, but my mom tells me to stop the car and she will talk to the lady behind us. I put the car in park. "No, no, pull up a little." Ashemedly, I creep into the lane. "You may as well put the mail in the mailbox, now," so after switching gears again, I pull up and drop off the mail, and my mom goes to talk to the lady who is standing outside her car, inspecting it with a disapproving scowl. I just rest my head on my chest, trying to calm myself down.

Slam! My mom reenters the car, and gives me a look. It turns out that I scared the lady pretty bad, but I hadn't done any damage that either of them can see, and when offered our license plate, etc., she said it would be fine, and not to worry about it. My mom offers to drive to Costco, and she does. The flag lady looks at me one more time, but I don't bother to look at her, so I'm not sure if she was sypathizing, scowling, or just curious.

We pull into Costco, and of course, by then, I'm just furious with myself. My mom asks if I want to talk to about it, and I just shrug her off saying "it was just me being stupid; I thought I was in drive for some reason", and then "we shouldn't have even tried to pull in there in the first place. I hate backing up." We get a cart, and I'm in the mood for very brisk walking.

But, as you remember, my mom threw her back out last weekend, so she walks slower than a turtle climbing up Oilslick Hill. I'm forced to walk behind her as she gets in people's way with me apologizing for it, while silently fuming. She can't pick things up, so I fill the cart while my mom stands in the center of aisles with her cart.

We get in line, and I know I'm being stupid, but there's this guy in front of us that I already can't stand (he didn't even talk, but I could tell I wouldn't like him) and he keeps looking behind himself. He's not looking at me, of course, but I get that feeling as if he knows what I had done earlier, and he keeps reminding me of it. I suddenly want to knowwhat it would look like if his face crumpled in, and his stupid long nose protruded from the back of his head. I chuckle to myself, and the guy walks past me, returning later with a box of peanut butter (shudders).

I drive home incident free, and I figured it was blog-worthy, so here I am.



And so, as I heave a sigh of relief and frustration, I can only wonder: when will everybody be done with school? I want to play tennis right now!
posted by The Doubting Salmon at 2:03 PM

 
I walk into the grocery store. Five salespeople immediately smile too widely, and abrubtly grab me by various places of my shirt and arm, manouvering me inside.

"And what would you like today, sir?"
"Oh my! I can tell that you're most definitely a big spender!"
"Here's my card, the names Slick."
"Have you seen our new clothes line?"
"Can I help you with anything?"

I raise my finger to object, but my mouth remains soundless.

"Oh, I know JUST what you want sir, allow me..."
"My thoughts precisely, silence is a virtue."
"Don't you worry about a thing, I'll get the papers ready."
"No, no, you're definitely larger than a one... not that that's a bad thing, of course."
"Exactly as you say, the customer is always right!"

Slowly, I realize I'm being pushed towards an aisle with boxes bulging from the shelves. They all smile phonily at me as their hands prod me into their lair. Finally, I manage to splutter, "Well, I don't think-"

"By all means, don't think! Let us do that for you."
"But-"
"'But' is not a sentence sir... and it certainly doesn't buy ceiling fans."
"I didn't come to buy ceiling fans!"
"Then why is there one in your hands?"

I look down to see a ceiling fan in my hands. And then a pogo stick, but I can't tell which salesperson is responsible.

"And there seems to be something on your shirt."

I look down, to have a finger flick my nose.

"Seriously though, there is something on your shirt. You should buy another one." A shirt magically appears on top of the giant bowl of mayonnaise I wasn't aware I had selected.

Suddenly, an alarm sounds and red lights begin flashing. They all look at me expectantly.

"Oh, my! Looks like you just won our 'Sell Your Soul For Any One Thing' deal!"
"Wow, whatever are you going to do with it?"
"This is so exciting, nobody's ever won before!"
"You lucky rascal, I'm jealous already!"
"Quick, quick, we haven't all day!"

Poked and prodded by five salespersons, I splutter "Go away!". Their plastered smiles seem slightly confused.

"If that's what you wish." They turned to leave, and I heave a sigh of relief.

"Oh, and I'll be taking that." A woman who looks like a hungry bird reaches into my chest, takes something, gives one last cheery smile, and follows the others.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ever had a day like that? You're just so overwhelmed by everything you can't think straight, even though you know things are clearly not going as they should? Hmm.
posted by The Doubting Salmon at 9:43 PM

 
Wow, I've had a very exciting weekend. Yes, even I can have excitement.

So, lots of stuff has happened in the past day. I woke up Saturday morning, and put on my nice black and white suit so I could go off to piano jury. That's for my Piano 202 class, and essentially, my entire grade depends on my performance at the end of the semester. I was supposed to have three songs memorized, but I only had two memorized. For those who might care to know, the songs I played were 1.) Vidala, by Alberto Ginastera, from his American Preludes, 2.) Marche, by Frederich Burgmuller, from Opus 106, Etudes, and 3.) (the unmemorized piece) Waltz, by Frederic Chopin, from Opus 69, No. 2.

So, I played decently (at least much better than last semester, I think), and I'll get to see my grades on that on Tuesday, after my Chemistry final.

I went back to my dorm, undressed an took a wonderful nap. It felt good.

Then I woke up at 3:00, got dressed down again, and marched across town, in the blazing sun, with my black suit, carrying my chess board and a diet coke. I got a few funny looks, but that what was I to do? I wasn't about to dirty two pairs of clothes in one day.

I walked into the Daily Grind (coffee shoppe), and once there, ran into my final opponent for the Philosophy Department Chess Tournament; yup, the final round. He already had a spot picked out in a little clearing with lots of shade, so we set up camp, introduced ourselves, shook hands, and began our match.

I won't bother going into great detail, but I ended up winning two games in a row (which took a cumulative three and a half hours!), thereby winning the tournament. We gracefully shook hands again, and went our seperate ways. As I was about to leave the coffee shop, I ran into a gal I know from WSU's Mock Trial team, and we laughed at how funny it was that we both happened to meet each other the only day of the year we both happened to be at there.

I returned to the dorm at about 7:50 (the match began at 4:00), I was reminded that some friends in the dorm were going to go to the WSU annual end-of-the-year "Up All Night" event, in which casino and carnival games were open to students and faculty etc. for tickets, which would be put into seperate raffles for various prizes. Though I felt very silly at first, I kept my penguin suit on the entire night, and as far as I know, I was the only person wearing such a suit, ho ho ho. I got a free t-shirt from the start, then headed to the casino section with my allotted number of chips.

I began the first hour at the blackjack table, and I was easily getting the most payback for my bids; I started with $20 worth of chips (though everyone is given about $250, I just kept $230 off to the side), and ended up with probably $450, for a total of about $680. Kevin (probably my best friend on the floor, I suppose) and I then both decided to hit a poker table for the rest of the night, so we found one that was open, where they were playing Texas Hold 'Em, with a max bid of $25 per betting round. I slowly began to lose my chips, and Kevin turned out to be the chip leader at our table by a mile. Our entire table of players kept coming in, and dropping out as Kevin kept knocking them out; I was the only other player to manage to stay at the table for the rest of the night. I found out later that Kevin tried midway to show me signs to tell me when he had good cards, so that I would know when to fold, but I guess I just missed them, lol. Luckily, he knows me enough to know that I'm not the bluffing type of person, so I did get away with some pots that I probably wouldn't have gotten if he didn't know me.

Anyhow, I ended up with about $135 worth of chips by the end of the night, learning that poker is obviously not my calling. Kevin had eight-hundred something, though at his highest point, he easily had about twelve-hundred, if not more.

Feeling refreshed and tired after a fun night, we cashed in our chips for tickets (Kevin got 25, I got 10, hehe), wrote our names and ID numbers on them, and stuffed them in overflowing boxes for prizes. I put all of mine in a Barnes and Noble gift certificate thingy, which would have 5 seperate winners, and Kevin spread his around to try for multiple prizes (a PSP 2, an I-Pod Shuffler, a mini fridge, etc.).

Anyhow, they were calling names, and one of the people in our group (we call him Big Ballard) mentioned that 'MVP', a person on our floor, had to win something, since he is known for being so lucky. Sure enough, when they got to the Barnes and Noble gift certificate thing, they called his name right off the bat. We all laughed and cheered for him, and then they called the second name; and it was me! I didn't really know what to make of it, but I made my way to the stage as they called the third name, which I guess turned out to be somebody else in our dorm, just not our floor. The interesting thing is that we were the only three people in our dorm to win anything, we all won the same prize, and they called our names in order. Coincidence?

In any case, I now have a $100 gift certificate for Barnes and Noble, which I'm going to have to use when I get home to buy yet more books, as if I don't have enough already.

And, to put icing on the cake, when I got back to the dorm (around 1:30 in the morning), I sat down finally finished Atlas Shrugged, which I've been reading for months now. It's almost as if everything I've done this school year melted together into the same day.
posted by The Doubting Salmon at 4:06 PM

 
Gosh, I have about 17 more days left in Pullman before I'm booted out; I can hardly believe I'll be a sophomore in college after that. And then I get to go home a get a job. T_T

Lots of stuff happening... finals coming up, papers, music juries, chess tournament finals, a mock trial reprise, several meetings to attend for various organizations; much too busy to be on Blogger, on any note. But here I am.

Ah, here's a horrid piece of news: I have about $180 left in my Residence Dining Account (RDA), and I need to spend it all by the time I leave. On average, I spend about $7-$8 a day here at WSU to purchase meals... now I need to make it a little over $10 a day! And what's more, I have approximately 4 seperate occasions that I know of where I will not be paying for a meal (a barbeque for mock trial, pizza and pop tonight for NSCS, a philosophy department picnic, and a welcoming thingy for Phi Kappa Sigma Beta Delta, or some such name). I'm going to gain back all the weight I lost while being here. *sigh*

Anyhow, I've been debating whether or not I should take music next year; it's practically the only class that substantially drops my GPA (almost guaranteed, this semester), and my teacher will probably not be in the teaching business next year. Also, I've come to realize that I am the worst player in the entire class; everybody plays better than me. I can't memorize pieces as well as others, and I can't even play the most basic of scales. None of this bodes well.

And I have to register for classes at 8:30 AM this Thursday (I have class at 9:10!), and though they've assured us they slot us for registrations in order of class standing and number of classes taken, I'm positive they skimped this year and went by last names. To prove this point: my next door neighbor has about a 3.5, and he's taken 15 credits both semester. I have a 3.87, and I took 18 credits first semester, 19 credits this semester, and I should have a slew of AP Credits (which seem to be lost amongst the collegiate red tape). He gets to register tomorrow morning, and I have to wait an extra day. Laaaaaame. There's a class we both really want that's filling up super fast; he'll probably get it, and I won't. So is life.

Okay, to fill in the blanks of time left unblogged, here is what happend in the past few weeks in a nut shell:

*I got to go home for Spring Break, where I bugged teachers with Vincent at Mt. Tahoma, as well as have a good number of the Super Friends Inc. come over to my house for moonshining.
*Went back to WSU, and my mom came early for Mother's Weekend, and we got to see a very modified CATS.
*Then I was locked in my closet for about two or three weeks, and then I immediately figured I'd better blog.
posted by The Doubting Salmon at 2:29 PM

 
Glumzafagur...

Well, if you couldn't deduce it from my odd noise, I is sick. T_T Yup, stuffy nose, sore throat, pounding headache, jellified legs; the works. But I still went to class! Hehe, people were giving me sidelong glances all day... I feel sorta guilty going to class while I'm sick, because I'm undoubtedly going to pass it on to somebody else. I'm pretty sure my roommate is starting to catch it, but he won't admit to it yet.

Anyhow, had a really good time while I was out for Spring Break. I got to have a small get-together of good friends on Saturday, so that was fun. We were missing a few people, unfortunately, due to long distance gas prices and apparant unavailability. :( But we did have an odd stroke of luck; one the people I invited was Skippy, but I sent her invitation to the wrong address. As fortune would have it, she ran into CC online (which they haven't done since graduation!), and she got the news anyhow! How awesome is that?

So, we ate lots of snacks, and pizza, and played Apples to Apples and Cranium and just talked; it went for about six hours, though we didn't get to play tennis because of the weather (grr). Still, 'twas very fun to see everybody again. We'll have to get everyone together during summer, by hook or by crook.

Oh, it feels so weird going to classes again... one of my teachers has a baby that'll come any day, we probably won't have class with him tomorrow. Humanities just got a little worse; he wants the class to discuss things out loud, but I'll admit that he asks some really odd questions. You know that he's looking for some sort of answer in particular, but you just don't know what it is. I dread going to music lessons tomorrow; I was supposed to memorize two pieces of music, that of which I failed to do.

Bleah, I better work on that homework I have for chemistry tomorrow, I literally just remembered. Good thing too, I was thinking about going to bed early. =P Guess not!
posted by The Doubting Salmon at 9:17 PM

 

Which Family Guy character are you?

Well, I don't exactly agree with the drinking part, though I guess I do have to deal with some social stigmata. But it is kind of funny; if I had to choose which family guy character I was most like, I would probably choose Brian.

And didn't they say Family Guy would be re-airing in March? I guess now they've changed it to May 1! YARGH. That's cruel and unusual punishment, right there.

Spring Break next week! Whoo!
posted by The Doubting Salmon at 3:20 PM

 
Ackpth! Lab in 30 minutes!

Well, just realized that I haven't blogged in approximately a while, figured I may as well. Here's a quick update as to what has happened lately:

Mock trial went to Portland, we did all right. We scored 3-5, but against tough competition.

Round 1: Went against UC Berkeley, the "A Team"... all four of their teams qualified for nationals last year. We lost both judges in this round. 0-2

Round 2: Pleaded our case to the University of Portland as plaintiff... won both judges. 2-2

Round 3: Argued and objected to UC Berkeley, the "B Team"... we actually split the judges. 3-3

Round 4: Scrimmaged with Stanford. Though we were very confident about this round, we lost both judges. 3-5. Their win allowed Stanford to take the whole tournament.

So we did fine. We were almost invited to nationals (since we had a very tough Strength of Opposition score), but alas, we didn't make the cut. So no Florida for me. But next year... next year!

Also, took a Philosophy the day after returning... got an 85%, though I'm going to argue for three points later today during his office hours. Hehe, just can't shake habits, I guess. Gosh, I actually have a few things to do today. I need to renew some library books, get a form from our Political Science department so I can credit for taking mock trial, and buy tickets for "Cats". I've already seen the play actually, but my mom is coming over for "Mom's Weekend" (a weekend early, actually), and we decided we'd watch the play on her birthday, 'tis kinda nice.

Oh, and I'm reading a really good book... Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand. I've had that book forever, but never read it. I think it's quite good, though I'm only 1/4 done (well, it is about 1000 pages). I already bought another one of her books, The Fountainhead, hope all her writing is good.

And so, as I quickly jot down some stoichiometry problems, I can only wonder: Cake or Death?
posted by The Doubting Salmon at 11:31 AM

 
Just great.

I thought the scholarships were due February 1st. They were due today. I just finished two seperate essays (well, actually three essays, for two seperate scholarships), and now I can't turn them in, because they must be turned in to the liberal arts department (whereever that is) before today ends. This is the same thing that happened to me last year with deadlines to Rochester and MIT and such. Why can't I keep dates straight?

... at least I remembered to call Grandma today to wish her a Happy Birthday.

posted by The Doubting Salmon at 10:54 PM

 
It's that time again. Time to write scholarship essays.

Yes, I am once again applying (in vain, most likely) to a whole slew of scholarships and such nonsensical flapdoodle. Believe it or not, the exact same essays I complained about last year for WSU (seriously, you can go back about a year and find them) are still there. The questions are so lame! Here they are again:

1.) In this application you will tell us a great deal about yourself. Please share with us some additional information about what motivates you to achieve academic success.

2.) How have your life experiences and achievements distinguished you from others and prepared you to enrich our diverse University community?

Gah! Laaaame. Last year, I tried saying I was motivated to achieve academic success just so others would know I was better than them. Though that is still a top factor, I don't think that's what scholarship committees are looking for. Needless to say, I didn't get any moolah last year. The second essay is just as bad, because the question in itself begs the question... they can't just assert that they have a 'diverse University community', so who am I to say that I will help enrich it? In fact, the school I came from was about 10 times as diverse as this one!

In any case, those are due Tuesday, and I've been trying to write them for a couple weeks now. I just can't make myself write something that I think is a complete and utter waste of time.

Anyhow, I'll be leaving for Portland at 1:00 this Thursday, and I won't be back until around midnight that Sunday for mock trial. I'm currently in the process of scurrying to finish chemistry homework and pre-labs, since I'll be gone, as well as a couple of essays and readings.

I suppose going to Oregon ought to be fun, though I don't think I mentioned what happened over the past couple weeks with mock trial. Here goes.

First of all, before winter break, our team had about 14 people, so we had two teams of 7. After break, we had 11 people.

Considering the fact that we were now in a predicament, we decided (though I dissented) to merge into one large team, meaning I only got to play my witness, and not my lawyer roles that I had prepared for (!!!!). So we all practiced, and got better, and were somewhat content.

Until we found out that a team can only have a maximum of 8 people, and a minumum of 6. That was rather awkward. Nobody wanted to leave, but very few people wanted to try and recruit another person or two and split up again.

Long story short, three people were cut from mock trial, and if you can believe it, I wasn't one of them. I think I got by simply because I know the case inside and out and can find inconsistencies and testimony v affadavit like no other.

So yeah.

Oh, and one other wonderful bit of news... the College Bowl tryouts are the same weekend I'll be gone for mock trial. How do these things always happen?

posted by The Doubting Salmon at 7:53 PM

 
Okay, I have a chemistry lab in 15 minutes...

Just read Chris's blog and journal for DevArt. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to say to that, but I guess the best I can come up with is 'good luck'. I don't really have the faintest idea of what you're doing or why you're doing it, but I can only assume it's for a good reason. I won't bother going into what I speculate might be going on (I have a number of possible ideas) since I'm not really sure I want to know.

In any case, maybe I'll see you 'round.

And a warning: Don't you dare think about anything suicidal. I am very serious. I will find a way to go back in time and I will strap you in a chair for all eternity if you do.

Word of the day? Misanthropic, perhaps.

posted by The Doubting Salmon at 11:34 AM

 
Ackpth!

Well, I have to go back to college on the 8th, which is creeping (ever so quickly) its way on over. I'm going to have to beat it off with a stick, if it doesn't watch it! *waves stick angrily*

Mock Trial! Oh, mock trial... why do you hate me so? I have to do so much by this Tuesday... I need to have about three crosses ready, a direct ready, a closing ready, and I need to be prepared to play two witnesses.

Khaaaaaan!!! *camera swirls away*

Junk, junk, 'no sir, not junk!'

Okay, I'm not sure what train of thought I was thinking there, so I'll stop that stream-of-consciousness kind of talk as I speak. I've gotten some nice reading done over break; I've started reading a new author *sigh* R.A. Salvatore. I guess he's okay, but I've been in the Fantasy mood for a while, and he supplies that well enough.

And I read one book I thought was rather interesting... The Assassins of Temurin, by S.D. Tower (which is actually a pseudonym for the author's real name, which I don't know). Anyhow, the whole book just reminded me of Gen-Chan. It seems like something she'd write, I'm not sure why. Maybe because I'd think she'd like the main character, I dunno.

And it looks like everybody couldn't make it to the 'get-together' we had, if one could call it that. Of course, people were off in far distant places anyhow (Seattle, Tennessee, and whatnot), so I can understand that they didn't make it. But next time, Gadget, next time!

That is all.

posted by The Doubting Salmon at 3:48 PM

 
Ok, well, my grades are officially in. I did a little better than I thought I would, so I guess things are all right.

Poli Sci: A
Sociology: A
Logic: A
World Civilizations I: A
Chamber and Ensemble: A (Woohoo!)
Crim J: A- (Gah!)
Intermediate Piano: B+ (Already knew this one)

And that's it; not bad I suppose. A 3.87 GPA, because my two music classes are 3 credits put together. Much better than my beginning in high school; I got a 3.67 there. And then I got 7 4.0's in a row. We'll see if I can pull that off again! ^^

Hope to see everyone on the 26th; supposedly quiller is setting something up, but goodness knows that often means he's going to topple it over too, hehe. I sent him an e-mail earlier today; if he doesn't return it by tomorrow, I'm going to be forced to go into mass e-mailing mode. Which I don't really want to do, since I honestly don't think I have everybody's e-mail. Hrm.

And so, as I walk away beginning my yearly rant on Christmas, I can only wonder: why is it I'm more excited to meet my friends on the 26th than getting the free presents I'll get on the 25th?

posted by The Doubting Salmon at 10:59 PM

 
*faints*

Oh, goodness, finally finished finals today. Ugh. Nobody ever told me college was so much work!

Well, I guess things went okay, all things considered. I'm going to get a B+ in at least one of my music classes, though, which sucks. How do you grade music when you're an expert? I'm not even a piano minor--I just like playing the piano! You'd think they'd take such things into consideration.

However, I'm virtually guaranteed an A in Logic, GenEd, Sociology, and Poli Sci. Crim J is a toss-up, though.

In order to get an A on Crim J, I have to have gotten a 93% on the final (which I just finished about half an hour ago). By means of comparison, I've gotten an 86% and an 87% on the first two exams. Both of those exams I walked away thinking I must've gotten an A. I walked away this time thinking I must've gotten an A. But I seem to continually be too optimistic for that class; our teacher is like a robot. She lectures, grades, and enters grades. No curves, no sympathy. Yargh.

So my grades this semester will probably look something like this:
Music 201: B+
Music 435: B+
Criminal Justice 101: A-
Sociology: A
General Education (World Civilizations I): A
Philosophy 210 (Logic): A
Political Science 101: A

See those B's? They look terrible! Luckily, both music classes together make 3 credits, so it's sort of like just having one B+... but that's still one B+ too many. I have worked so hard in all of classes it's preposterous... I have not had one late assignment, and I haven't missed one day of class. I have a couple hundred pages of notes (seriously; and I'm talking 9 x 15 paper!). It all feels kind of insignificant when I think that I've worked twice as hard as I worked in high school and got worse grades.

And yes, I realize that there are probably a couple of you reading this thinking well good for you Neil, I FAILED a class! To those people, I'm sorry; and I'm not just saying that. It actually hurts to see some of my best friends knowing that they have to retake classes, etc.

Gosh, I can't wait to see everyone over break.

posted by The Doubting Salmon at 11:00 AM

 
Golly, everybody seems to be having a rough time. People are failing classes, changing their outlooks on life, getting stressed out to point of burning out, and in general not much enjoying college. Who's great idea was this?

Well, I was originally going to come on here to rant to rant about the double-edged sword that is affirmative action, but I've lost the anger I had built up earlier. If anything, that's a definite sign that I (yes, me) am being dramatically affected by college too.

I used to be able to rant on about things with genuine feeling in the past, and now I can't even muster an argument on something that there are hundreds of arguments to make for or against. I'm just tired; I don't believe I've taken as many naps as I have taken in the last couple weeks than I used to in an entire year. I'm always sleepy, I want to go home and get out of the snow, and I would like to just be able to sit down and read a good book without thinking in the back of my head "why aren't I doing Sociology homework?" or something. There's always something on my mind nowadays.

And what's even worse, I'm going to have stuff on my mind over Winter Break as well. Mock Trial has done a complete 360 degree turn (and yes, I know I mean 180, but I think it's funnier to say 360). Our case has been toppled onto its head! Practically everything has changed; the witnesses have changed (and thus all the questions we had for witnesses must be changed), and the laws we were given were all modified as well. We're back on square one, and our team has to be able to compete only 1 week after coming back from break. That, naturally, means I will be very busy over Break.

Let's see... I have to play one of two potential witnesses (one is a nurse, and the other is golf club pro) for defense. For the plaintiff, my hands are overflowing; I have to direct a doctor with a very dubious history in medicine, I have to cross either the same nurse I will be playing or a forensic economist, and I have to give our team's opening statement! Luckily, I might not have to do the opening statement, becuase there is one other person it might possibly go to. Unfortunately, we are becoming increasingly scared that he will drop out, which will only add more to the loads of everyone on our side. Needless to say, if he drops out, I will have to do the opening, and probably another direct, and another cross. (I had better stop thinking about it though, worrying never helps).

In any case... I have a couple papers to work on tonight, so I think I'll start on them now so I can to bed early tonight. Goodness knows I need the sleep.

posted by The Doubting Salmon at 3:16 PM